Just a couple of weeks ago, after RealtyTrac’s U.S. Foreclosure Market Report™ was published, it was pure jubilation that filled the air as the headlines proclaimed foreclosure starts for November were down by 15 percent… putting their number at a 95-month low. Listening to the talking heads talk, I thought they might actually be scheduling some sort of ticker tape parade. Recovery was everywhere… so they said.
I saw the headline in the top right-hand corner of my computer’s screen and said aloud to myself, “Damn it, Durwood… I really don’t have time for you right now.”
The “Durwood” to whom I was referring was, of course, Daren Blomquist, RealtyTrac’s VP and Chief Cheerleader for all things housing… a man who has never seen a housing market he wasn’t positively enthralled by… to Daren, there were only fleeting moments when the news of home prices was not worthy of 76 trombones in front and a hundred and ten cornets right behind.
My phone rang seconds later. “Did you see RealtyTrac’s…”
“Yes,” I told the caller, cutting him short. “I saw it.”
“Well, are you going to do anything about it?” The caller was sincere.
“Actually, I was planning to ignore it this time around… the holidays are coming up fast and our daughter is coming home from Cal in a couple of days, and I really can’t drop what I’m doing every time Blomquist drops another Blom. Just ignore him and he’ll evaporate in a day or two like Frosty on a sunny day. Or try scotch, that often makes him seem funnier so you want to kill him less.”
“I really think you should do something about it.” He was clearly distraught.
“Call Bob Hockett over at Cornell Law,” I offered. “Tell him I said it’s his turn to do something about Dum Dum’s latest delusions. I’m sure Bob’s got a white paper laying around that you can roll up and use to debunk Dumpkin.”
I emailed Bob, but he replied that he was swamped grading papers. Academics and their grades… I thought to myself… like it would kill those over-achievers at Cornell to take home a Pass/Fail once in their lives.
“Okay, I’ll try to get to it as soon as I can,” I assured my concerned caller as I hung up and returned to my work. My phone went off before I could even …read more